KIDS ARE FUN- REAL STORIES (1)

by Rose Chen

Kids are funny, genuine, and awesome. Once we were kids, too. Adult life can be tough. Some people go through formal education half of their life. Some struggle with health issues, body image, sexual orientation. Some struggle financially and some struggle with their family life. Too many headaches and heartaches. Still, we have the right and the ability to choose. Are we going to let them drown us or are we going to swim up and soar above? We don’t have to care much about other people’s opinions. We can stick to being genuine and kind. We can choose to stay positive, ignore haters and just be happy. Yes, like when we were young and innocent as these children below. We can learn a lot from them. No need to feel ashamed learning from minors, think of it as learning from your younger self or better, relive the ‘real’ you. Gain back your sense of humor!

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Master The Art Of Persuasion

The four year old and the third grader were savoring their various favor of gummy bears, given as a birthday gift from the 3rd grader’s English teacher, sniffling each one, counting them again and again, dividing them between themselves then popping the same color to their mouth on count of three. When they had finished, the four year old was heard telling the 3rd grader how to beg for more from the English teacher. ‘Please, miss Sandra, we really, really, really loved the gummy bears. Could you puh.leaaaasssssse. give me some more? Please? Tell that to your teacher!’

Of course when I wasn’t a member of a birth club yet, I had never dreamed that birth club members could become your best friends. We even exchanged presents! That was where Matt got his pegasus. Love you hotmamatigger!

Me: Matt, you can leave pegasus outside while you pee.
Matt (age four): But it wants to pee, too.
Me: Then you can let it pee after you are done peeing. I don’t want it to fall into the toilet.
Matt: But pegasus needs to use the toilet soooo bad, worse than I do…
Me: GAAAHHHH… go on… take it along.

What is more annoying than a whining kid?

Me: If you keep crying how am I supposed to know what you want?
Matt (age four) : You can ask, ‘Do you want to watch TV?’
Me : Grrrrr…..

Games Do Make You Smarter!

This one is from my birth club momma, too!

 Lindsay (playing a trivial pursuit type of game with Auntie) answering the question “What does somebody saying S.O.S. need?”
L : Can I have a hint?
A : It starts with an “H”
L : A husband?

Use Big Words! It Makes You Sound Smarter!

Jessica’s sons are handsome AND smart!

Alex (age four) : I’m not afraid of dinosaurs, because I’m a paleontologist.

Alex (age four) : I’m so cold I’m vibrating.
Sonny (age seven) : That’s not what that means Alex! Vibrating is when you sleep all winter.

Go Ahead! Sing Your Own Version!
Making up your own lyrics is fun. It starts early!
Matt (age six) sang ‘Jingle bells, Jingle bells…jingle all the way’, but instead of jingle bells, he used ‘Mister Bean’.
Matt (age three) sings, ‘Mary had a little man, little man, little man…’
Matt (age two) : Momma…. ooohhhhh, I don’t want to die… (bohemian rhapsody)

Multilingual Is Cool!

Matt (age four): Mom, what is this?
Mom : Okra.
Matt: Mandarin, please.
Mom: I don’t know what that is in mandarin.
Matt: Indonesian, please.
Mom: Okra, the same.
Andrew: Thai, please.
Matt: Ain’t nobody want to speak Thai.

Alex (age three) : I know how to say car in spanish.
Mama: OH, how?
Alex: UFO

Watching TV Won’t Make You Stupid!

Grandma in the movie : Oh, little mermaid, your hair smells.
Little mermaid in the movie (drop her head in shame) : Oh… I didn’t wash my hair yesterday.
Matt (age four) : But mommy! Mermaids live in the sea, their heads are submerged in the water all the time, they don’t need to wash their hair.

Dora can hear her mommy calling from miles away! Either my kids need her ears or I need her mommy’s voice.
Dora : Who do we ask for help when we don’t know which way to go?
David (age fifteen) : GPS!
You have a ‘to-do list’. I have a ‘grocery list’. Matthew has a ‘to-watch list’. That was his answer when I asked him what was that written on the folded paper found in his pants pocket.
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Study Hard! Work Hard! Play Hard!

Matt (age four) didn’t want to do his homework because he wanted to play computer games (he doesn’t get to play everyday). When finally he sat before his homework, I heard him grumble, ‘Ugh, I will need another ten years to finish this.’

Matt (age four): Okay, you played four times, now it’s my turn.

Andrew (age nine): But you said before that each of us got to play five times.

Matt : I understand that your ears have problems.

Matt (age three) insisted that he listens to his school CD, eats his dinner aaaannnd watch his Kids-ABC dvd ALL at the same time. Maybe multi tasking does not belong solely to women.
Age six Matt’s Today’s Whys :
1. Why do old people have bent back ?
2. Why do human grow? Why not create them all adults?
3. Why are there so many languages? Why not only one country and one language?
Me : Go to sleep! Stop talking.
Matt : There are so many things I don’t know. So many unanswered questions….
And his other questions :
1. How do people get their phone numbers?
2. What makes every person different? What about twins?
3. Why are there so many countries in this world? How were countries formed?
Have A Personal Relationship With Your God
But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.”
Tried to encourage Matt (age four)to have an imaginary friend cause I had heard mamas talked about their children having one…
Matt : Mom… what should I do now? (He ALWAYS asks this question when he is bored and I am tired of answering him.)
Me : Go play with your invisible friends.
Matt : I don’t have any invisible friends, only God is invisible and I can’t talk to Him coz he can’t answer me.
Alex (age four) : You know God can touch your soul.
Matt (age five) said he is thankful for heaven on Thanksgiving Day.
Me: Why?
Matt : If we die we still have heaven to live in and we got to see God and grandma.
Me: Oh my God… ups, my bad, I shouldn’t say that.
Matt (age five) : You could say ‘oh my goodness’ instead.

Respect Other’s Privacy!

Matt (age seven) : Mommy, when can I have my own Facebook account? Sis and Andy tried to make one for me but they failed. And I have chosen a password!
Me : What is your password?
Matt : I can’t tell you that! It IS a PASSWORD!!!

Ha! And you think you can fool them!

Take Advantage While It Lasts!

Me to Andrew (age eight) : Pray so mommy’s business goes well, so mommy can earn money to pay for your music class and buy you toys.
Matthew (age three) : Easy. Just let daddy earn the money for you!

It’s None Of My Business!

Mom : You should call Nanny and tell her Thank You for the toys she sent you.
Sonny (age four) : I don’t want to. You do it.
Mom : She didn’t send me the toys.
Sonny : How about you say ‘Thank you for sending my kids toys.’
I was talking with the teenager. Matt (age six) tried to get my attention.
Daddy : What is it, Matt? Just tell me.
Matt : Oh, it’s none of your business. This is between mommy and me.
Grow Up!
Mom’s status on Facebook : Took Matt (age three) to his fifth day at preschool. HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE this time of their life, makes me feel like a failure.:((
Two weeks later …
Matt : Mommy, don’t you cry, I am at school, you have to be brave, don’t cry, okay? I will pick you up when school is over.
Mom, I’m not a little kid anymore. I’m seven!
Miles (age four) informed me he’s going to work at night when he grows up because mornings are evil.
I Am NOT A Picky Eater!
Me: Do you know your middle name?
Claire (age four): No
Me: It’s Joy -Claire Joy
Claire: Nope. My middle name is marshmallow.
Matt (age three): Mommy, I don’t want the poop-like one, I want the chocolate one. (He saw me while I was making the PB balls and Oreo Truffles)
I finally gave in and bought Indomie (Indonesian instant noodle) per Andrew’s request (age eleven).
Me: Please, can this be the last time we buy this thing?
Andrew: Why? Tastes bad?
Me : It’s not about taste.
Andrew : Nutritious or not?
Me : It’s not about that either.
Matthew (age six): Healthy or not?
You know then, you talk a lot about eating healthy to your kids.
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